"Unfortunately, settlement is not for me. Banning, censorship continues. Not only religious fatwas, I became an unfortunate victim of political and social fatwas. Life is not easy and peace is far away," 49-year-old Nasreen, who is living in Delhi since June this year, said.
Since fleeing Bangladesh in 1994, she has lived at many places including Europe (1994 to 2004), Kolkata (2004 to 2007), Delhi, Sweden (2008) and then again Delhi as she did not get permission to go back to West Bengal.
She has almost given up all hope of going back to Bangladesh and wants to settle down in Kolkata which shares a common cultural heritage and language.
"I dont know whether I will be able to go back to Kolkata. If (West Bengal Chief Minister) Mamata Banerjee allows me, I would love to go back to Kolkata. Kolkata was my home for years.ҠI miss my happiness I had in Kolkata," said Nasreen, who became controversial for her views on Islam and of religion in general.
"I have been in many countries after leaving Bangladesh but Kolkata is the only place where my heart is. I share their language and culture while the West is totally different," the medical doctor-turned author, who 1993 novel 'Lajja' triggered strong reaction of religious groups, said.
Currently she is busy writing a book of poems and seventh edition of her memoirs. Her earlier works include 'Amar Meyebela'(1999), 'Utal Hawa' (2002), 'Dwikhondito' (2003), 'Sei Sob Andhokar' (2004), 'Ami Bhalo Nei, Tumi Bhalo Theke Priyo Desh' (2006) and 'Nei Kichu Nei' (2010). While many of her writings have been acclaimed for their candidness, a number of them have been banned in India and Bangladesh.
First published in sify.com, India, September 20, 2011